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about

you get a strange feeling when you’re about to leave. like you’ll not only miss the people you love, but you’ll miss the person you are now at this time and this place, because you will never be this way ever again.

in the midst of the laughter to the point of tears, i desperately try to capture the moment so that it can all stay alive. in the midst of the 3 am thoughts, it burdens me to know that no matter how many pictures or videos I take, i will not be relive this exact moment.

my entire life, i would always feel this nostalgic pang of the current unfolding moments.. yearning for the past before it became the past.

i feared the loss of the memory before the memory could even be formed; i feared that this exact moment would never happen again.

i feared that one day i will look back and not remember the way we laughed until we cried, and that there will come a day where i may not be able to naively, and wholeheartedly, trust someone enough to share pieces of my life with.

i feared that with every moment there is to become a moment, i am giving a part of myself away–and i want to capture that, in a picture, in a video, so that i won’t forget. so that even when time has reached its final concluding point, i will have the memories locked, the moments frozen in time, the smiles reflecting off of the photographs that i forever have.

and while i want the moments i have now to stay the same, my heart also desires to continue to grow, change, push boundaries, and to turn all my dreams into memories. but, it’s easy for us to get lost.

many of us always have something to look forward to; a friday, a summer, a vacation, a goal, a dream. and before we realize it, you wake up one day and you will have no more moments to look forward to because while you were waiting for the next best moment, the people we know, became the people we knew, and that the passion for your dreams and aspirations slowly turn into a nostalgic pang for the past that you never lived.

and so, I fear that in the midst of all the growth and change, that if I don’t take the photos, if I don’t write down all the feelings i have at this exact moment and at this exact time–that one day it will be ‘3 am and Iill be 80 years old and I can’t remember what it was like to have 21 year old thoughts or an 10 year old heart.’

- carmen tang

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from long days​.​short years, released May 1, 2017
attila zoller - after glow

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mr. hong San Francisco, California

producer | dj | 26

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